A little humor to brighten your Friday…
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Stop Sausaging Around
Not in a good mood today?
Then try our sausage. Works immediately!
After beer and bread, the most important staple in the German diet is sausage.
Germans call it Wurst. It’s pronounced vurst.
In honor of the wonderful German tradition of Oktoberfest (yes, I know it’s still September…I’ll explain later), I thought we’d spend a few minutes chatting about the Wurst.
Germans serve up over 1500 kinds of sausage. The most popular variety is the curry wurst. Every year, Germans eat 800 million. There isn’t a German menu out there that doesn’t include sausage in some form or another.
With wurst being such an important part of the German lifestyle, it’s pretty much a given that sausages will have made their way into the culture’s expressions and sayings. I challenge you to sneak one of these into your next conversation:
Six Sausage Sayings
1. Das ist mir Wurst – That’s sausage to me (It’s all the same to me/I don’t care).
2. Jetzt geht’s um die Wurst – Now it’s about the sausage (It’s now or never/crunch time).
3. Wurst wider Wurst – Tit for Tat.
4. Herumwursteln – Sausaging around (Messing around).
5. Spiel nicht die beleidigte Leberwurst – Don’t play the sore liver sausage (Don’t be such a whiner/sourpuss).
6. Alles hat ein Ende nur die Wurst hat zwei – Everything has an end; only the sausage has two.
So there you have it. Six sausage sayings. Just what you always wanted. Now you can tell your kids, “Don’t play the sore liver sausage” or “Stop sausaging around” and they’ll have no idea what you’re talking about (they never do anyway, right?).
Now to reveal the reason why I’m talking about Oktoberfest in September…
The tradition began in 1810 with the wedding of Prince Ludwig of Bavaria. To celebrate his nuptials, he threw a big bash near Munich. Germans have continued the tradition every year since. They start drinking beer on a Saturday in September and don’t stop until 16-18 days later on the first Sunday in October.
I guess calling the biggest beer-drinking party in the world Septemberfest just wouldn’t sound as cool. Oh well, das ist mir Wurst.
It’s all sausage to me.
Travel Funnies
When you travel to new places, you can’t help but notice things that seem…well…different. Some things tickle my funny bone, so I’ve decided to share them here. If any strike your fancy, feel free to copy and share!
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Kangaroo Hoodlums and Ugly Faces
The news is weird.
Sometimes the stories are so strange, you’re sure they could only be fiction. When I first heard about the kangaroo hoodlums, I thought the story had been made up. But since then, I’ve seen the story on cbsnews.com and The Week. That means it has to be true…right?
Apparently, the three hoodlum kangaroos escaped through not one…but two…fences at a German wildlife park with the assistance of a wiley fox and a hungry boar.
The names of the kangaroos were Jack, Mick, and Skippy. The fox and the boar remain anonymous.
As the three imprisoned marsupials looked on, the boar broke into the wildlife park by making a hole in the fence on the outer perimeter. The fox, being more sly and fit, took over from there. He (or she) slipped through the boar’s hole and made it’s way over to the kangaroo’s enclosure.
While Jack, Mick, and Skippy banged their tin cups on the bars and made cat calls (fox calls?), the fox dug a hole into their enclosure and the kangaroos escaped. Mind you, I have no idea how a kangaroo could fit into a hole dug by a fox, but…the details are sketchy.
In other news around Europe, the Spanish city of Balbao recently celebrated their annual “Concurso de Feos” or “Ugly Competition.” It’s hard to believe that in our world of cosmetics and “beautiful people,” folks would come from far and wide in hopes of being declared the world’s ugliest person. Take a look…
Click the photo to see the “Ugly Faces” gallery on SpiegelOnline.
So what about the kangaroo hoodlums? Are they still on the lam?
Nope, they were outfoxed by another wiley species…humans.
You gotta give the kangaroos brownie points, though. They managed to travel over nine miles away from the zoo. The last one wasn’t apprehended until, in the words of the zoo’s deputy manager, “a very fit policewoman hurled herself onto the kangaroo.” Kind of makes you wonder…which one of the three kangaroo hoodlums held out the longest?
My bet’s on Skippy.
I’ll Have the Wiener Art
In Germany, a menu is called a Speisekarte. “Menu” is short for Tagesmenu, which lists the daily specials.
If you ever go to a German restaurant, you may find yourself completely mystified by the process of Germany dining. Assuming you’re able to translate the menu enough to order a meal (what is wiener art, anyway?) you might find yourself stymied by a number of other oddities.
The strange snuffling sound coming from under the table next to you? Yes, that’s a dog. Dogs are allowed in even some of the nicest restaurants. Fido is likely to be served a refreshing bowl of water before you get your Hefeweisen.
As for your food, if you find yourself plate-less while your companions are filling their bellies, you haven’t been forgotten. In Germany, food is brought out when it’s ready, not all at the same time.
And when the meal is finished, you may have to perform a table dance to get your bill. If you wait for the server to deliver it, you’ll go cross-eyed trying to stare him or her down. They’re not inattentive…in Europe, when you sit down to a meal, the table is yours…a server would never rush you off by bringing the bill.
When you do pay, make sure your wallet is full of cash. The server will stand at the table and wait. They’ll pull out a little wallet and dole out your change right then (they’re whizzes at doing math in their heads). Many places in Germany don’t take credit cards. Don’t be fooled by the symbols in the window…Germans have cards with a special “EC” chip in them. If you don’t have cash, you might find yourself washing a sinkful of beer steins.
A few more tips:
- You may be delighted when your server brings you a basket of rolls or pretzels, but if you accept them, you may be charged for each one. The same goes for packets of ketchup.
- If you stand at the door of a restaurant waiting to be seated, you may be there all night. In Germany, restaurants are usually seat-yourself.
- Don’t be surprised if one day you are dining at a busy restaurant and complete strangers sit down with you. Germans don’t let empty seats go wasted.
- A fifteen percent gratuity is already included in the bill, so you don’t need to leave a big tip. A euro or two is always appreciated, of course, but don’t leave it on the table. Hand it directly to the server.
- If you ask for water, you will receive bottled water…and a bill. Go ahead and try to finagle a glass of tap water, but don’t be surprised if you’re met with a blank stare. Germans think it’s uncouth!
So there you have it…the mysteries of German dining solved. I’m afraid you’re on your own with reading the menu, but I’ll tell you this…Wiener Art means Viennese Style.
(Which isn’t nearly as interesting as what I had in mind!)
See! 