No Longer the Longest

IMG_2049Germany has had a rough time.

After enduring the darkest winter in 43 years and floods from record-setting rains, the country has just experienced its worst hit yet.

Worse even than the great Nutella heist in which a 5 ton shipment of Nutella was stolen on its way to store shelves.

(Thieving Nutella is like snatching peanut butter sandwiches out of the hands of hungry kindergartners…

Germans can’t function without their daily dose of the chocolate-hazlenut spread.)

But now… the worst has happened.

Germany has lost its longest word.

Why, you ask?

Because it was outlawed.


It means: Law on the transfer of monitoring duties for labeling beef.

Of course it does. What else would it mean?

At 63 letters, it beats out the longest word in English (pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis) which boasts a mere 45 letters.

So why is  Rind…whatever-the-heck-it-is  no longer the longest?

It has to do with a law created to protect consumers from mad cow disease. The European Union repealed the law, hence the word is now defunct.

Sad days.

Fortunately, there is a solution. The reason Germans have such long words is because theystickabunchofsmallerwordstogether to make one big one. They call them tapeworm words.

So the hunt is on to find Germany a new longest word.

We are now taking nominations!

Click here if you want to find out how the last word to hold the honor was pronounced.

Can’t think of any? Click here to see 8 more ridiculously long German words.


Kangaroo Hoodlums and Ugly Faces

The news is weird.

Sometimes the stories are so strange, you’re sure they could only be fiction. When I first heard about the kangaroo hoodlums, I thought the story had been made up. But since then, I’ve seen the story on and The Week. That means it has to be true…right?

Apparently, the three hoodlum kangaroos escaped through not one…but two…fences at a German wildlife park with the assistance of a wiley fox and a hungry boar.

The names of the kangaroos were Jack, Mick, and Skippy. The fox and the boar remain anonymous.

As the three imprisoned marsupials looked on, the boar broke into the wildlife park by making a hole in the fence on the outer perimeter. The fox, being more sly and fit, took over from there. He (or she) slipped through the boar’s hole and made it’s way over to the kangaroo’s enclosure.

While Jack, Mick, and Skippy banged their tin cups on the bars and made cat calls (fox calls?), the fox dug a hole into their enclosure and the kangaroos escaped. Mind you, I have no idea how a kangaroo could fit into a hole dug by a fox, but…the details are sketchy.

In other news around Europe, the Spanish city of Balbao recently celebrated their annual “Concurso de Feos” or “Ugly Competition.” It’s hard to believe that in our world of cosmetics and “beautiful people,” folks would come from far and wide in hopes of being declared the world’s ugliest person. Take a look…

Look mom, no hands!  Since 1978, the northern Spanish city of Bilbao has ...

Click the photo to see the “Ugly Faces” gallery on SpiegelOnline.

So what about the kangaroo hoodlums? Are they still on the lam?

Nope, they were outfoxed by another wiley species…humans.

You gotta give the kangaroos brownie points, though. They managed to travel over nine miles away from the zoo. The last one wasn’t apprehended until, in the words of the zoo’s deputy manager, “a very fit policewoman hurled herself onto the kangaroo.” Kind of makes you wonder…which one of the three kangaroo hoodlums held out the longest?

My bet’s on Skippy.