Saw this on a convenience store shelf in Italy:
Anyone have the munchies?
Author Archives: Heidi Bailey
Beer Me a Bath!
Image from http://www.chodovar.cz/
Have you heard the expression Beer me? How about Beer me a beer?
Beer me has become the cultured way of saying Give me insert item here.
Now that the weekend is here and I could use some time to relax, I feel like shouting, “Beer me a bath!”
Sound strange?
It’s not when you consider that there is a place where you can take a real beer bath.
If you’re willing to make the trek to the Czech Republic, you can stay at a beer wellness hotel and relax in a beer spa right smack in the middle of beer wellness land.
Yes, it’s for real.
So how does this beer bath thing work?
This is an excerpt from the Chordova website:
Real Bear Baths
The real beer baths are prepared in a tub from beer and mineral water and have a temperature of 34 °C. The special ingredients consist of dark Bathing Beer (WHERE CAN I GET SOME OF THAT?), which is produced in a traditional way by the main brewer (MAIN BREWER, YOU ROCK!) of the family brewery Chodovar. The bath level is covered by the distinct beer foam (LOVE IT!) of a caramel colour and the area is scented by the fragrance of freshly brewed dark beer.
Treatment process
The client is immersed into the bath whose agreeable temperature causes mild and gradual rise of the heart activity (I BET!!) and activation of blood circulation in all the vascular system. To harmonize the blood pressure, increase the outcome of the bath and enhance the relaxation experience, the guests are recommended a glass of natural non-pasteurised Chodovar (YES!!!!!), which positively works on all the digestive system as well.
The length of the stay in the bath is 20 minutes.
What?????? Only 20 minutes? What’s up with that?
Oh, and yes, you read that right. The secret ingredient to this spa treatment is Bathing Beer. It comes in one-liter bottles. The recommended amount per bath is 4 liters.
So…at the risk of stating the obvious:
No! You can’t drink your bath water!!!
More Like This:
Funny Bathroom Signs
Everybody collects something.
Me? I collect bathroom signs. A friend of mine has a motto when she travels: “First You Pee, Then You See.”
I follow that motto, too, so I’m always on the lookout for bathroom signs.
Here are a few of my favorites:
I call this sign Mr. Null and Ms. Void.
When I first came to Europe, I was perplexed by the 00 that appears on so many bathroom signs. A quick internet search gave me some answers.
Some say 00 is simply the the room number assigned to the WC. Others speculate that 00 is a shorter version of 100 which, in some places, is a euphemism for WC and may be the source of the English word Loo.
Still others say the 00 represents the holes that used to be cut in the door so you could see if the bathroom was occupied.
My favorite explanation, though, is from Germany. ‘Null’ is the word for zero, thus 00 is pronounced null-null … the English equivalent of which is null-and-void.
Kind of appropriate, don’t you think?
This next sign is similar to the one above, but suggests that nulling and voiding is only permitted from 12 – 1.
I’m not sure the word “Gentleman” is appropriate in this case:
And ladies are apparently only welcome if they bring a ball on a fork:
In some cases, people need to be told where not to go to the bathroom:
And of course, we can’t forget our doggy friends:
Now that I’m on the lookout for funny bathroom signs, I think I’ll have to change my motto:
First I’ll See, Then I’ll Pee.
Travel is Fatal
It’s All Tickety-Boo
One of the reasons we travel is to challenge our perceptions of the world.
And where we come from can have a lot to do with the way we see things.
Several years ago, I worked as a seasonal interpreter at the Lewis and Clark Interpretive Center in Great Falls, Montana.
A friend of mine came from Canada to visit. I had to work, so I gave him and his wife passes to the center and invited them to drop in.
My friend was what he termed a “ten dollar Canadian.” I don’t know the details of obtaining a Canadian citizenship, but my friend had originally been a resident of Scotland. He came to Canada when he was younger and claims that he paid ten dollars to apply for citizenship. Thus, he could speak with equal fervor about both haggis and hockey.
When he and his wife arrived, I encouraged them to begin their tour with the introductory movie. From there they went into the exhibit area. I didn’t see them again until a couple of hours later after they had completed their tour.
I eagerly asked them what they thought of the place. My friend said in his cheery Scottish accent, “Ach aye, it was tickety-boo.” This was high praise indeed – a popular Canadian phrase meaning that something was just perfect.
Then he shared a meaningful look with his wife.
Lewis and Clark. Supermen?
My friend turned to me and said, “To be honest, we’re a little relieved. We thought you worked at the Lois and Clark Interpretive Center.” I looked at my friend quizzically and he said, “You know… Superman.”
As a “10 Dollar Canadian,” my friend had no frame of reference for approaching the subject of Lewis and Clark.
So next time you encounter something that challenges your view of the world, just smile and say…
“It’s all tickety-boo!”
See! 