Tag Archives: Beer

Culture

How Much Wood is Up Front?

It’s Oktoberfest time again!

German Beer

If you ever have a chance to attend this event in Germany, there are 3 things you have to know first:

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1. The proper response to “Ziggy Zoggy, Ziggy Zoggy!”

This phrase is a line from a German drinking song that people sing when they are really, really drunk, so don’t worry –  the response is really, really easy:

OY! OY! OY!

If you can handle that, then you are ready for Oktoberfest!

The song actually goes like this:

Ein Prosit, Ein Prosit, der Gemütlichkeit
Eins, zwei, drei, g’suffa!

Zicke, zacke, zicke, zacke,

hoi, hoi, hoi

Supposedly it means:

A toast, a toast, a cozy place!
One, two, three drink (literally drunkeness, or sozzled)
drink, drink, drink,

hoi, hoi, hoi!

The last part doesn’t actually mean anything, so you don’t have to worry about screwing it up!

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2. Oktoberfest is in September.

This is an important little tidbit to know if you are traveling from far away.

Germans have been celebrating Oktoberfest since 1810 when Prince Ludwig of Bavaria decided to get married. To celebrate, he and his friends got really sozzled at a big bash near Munich. Germans have thrown a party every year since. Oktoberfest starts on a Saturday in September and continues for 16-18 days, ending on the first Sunday in October.

So why didn’t they call it Septemberfest?

Beats me. Maybe they were too sozzled to know what month it was.

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3. How much wood is up front.

For all you ladies out there, if you ever have a chance to attend Oktoberfest, be aware of one thing. Those cute little Bavarian dresses called Dirndls are not just a fashion statement. They’re designed to answer a question that’s on the mind of every Lederhosen-clad man:

Holz vor der Hütte.

It means:

How much wood is in front of the cottage?

There’s only one right way to answer this question…

Stand tall and push up your assets!

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Culture

Beer Me a Bath!

Have you heard the expression Beer me? How about Beer me a beer?

Beer me has become the cultured way of saying Give me insert item here.

Now that the weekend is here and I could use some time to relax, I feel like shouting, “Beer me a bath!”

Sound strange?

It’s not when you consider that there is a place where you can take a real beer bath.

If you’re willing to make the trek to the Czech Republic, you can stay at a beer wellness hotel and relax in a beer spa right smack in the middle of beer wellness land.

Yes, it’s for real.

So how does this beer bath thing work?

This is an excerpt from the Chordova website:

Real Bear Baths

The real beer baths are prepared in a tub from beer and mineral water and have a temperature of 34 °C. The special ingredients consist of dark Bathing Beer (WHERE CAN I GET SOME OF THAT?), which is produced in a traditional way by the main brewer (MAIN BREWER, YOU ROCK!) of the family brewery Chodovar. The bath level is covered by the distinct beer foam (LOVE IT!) of a caramel colour and the area is scented by the fragrance of freshly brewed dark beer.

Treatment process

The client is immersed into the bath whose agreeable temperature causes mild and gradual rise of the heart activity (I BET!!) and activation of blood circulation in all the vascular system. To harmonize the blood pressure, increase the outcome of the bath and enhance the relaxation experience, the guests are recommended a glass of natural non-pasteurised Chodovar (YES!!!!!), which positively works on all the digestive system as well.

The length of the stay in the bath is 20 minutes. 

What?????? Only 20 minutes? What’s up with that?

Oh, and yes, you read that right. The secret ingredient to this spa treatment is Bathing Beer. It comes in one-liter bottles. The recommended amount per bath is 4 liters.

So…at the risk of stating the obvious:

No! You can’t drink your bath water!!!

More Like This:

Beer Language School

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Culture

Give Me a Meter of Milk!

I’m a gallon of milk girl.

But these days I live in Germany where they use the metric system. There’s no such thing as a gallon of milk.

I can get a bigger beer at a festival than I can a container of milk at the grocery store. While a typical carton of milk is 1 liter, a glass of beer ranges in size from 1-3 liters.

German Beer

If you ask me, milk should only come in a single serving size if it’s part of a school lunch.  It’s downright frustrating!

But I have a solution.  Give me a meter of milk!  Sound foolish?

It’s not!  A meter is a bona fide serving size in Germany.  Check it out:

Meter Popcorn

One Meter Popcorn

For those watching their weight, there’s the ever-popular half-meter:

German Bratwurst

German Food

I’ll say one thing – if I ever convince the powers that be to produce a meter of milk, someone better send me a kilometer of Oreos!!

More like this:

Stop Sausaging Around

I’ll Have the Wiener Art

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Culture

Beer Language School

Beer

Beer… something I know.

The German language … something I don’t know. The key to learning something new is to relate what you don’t know to what you do know. Germans love their beer … so what better way to learn their language?

Many English words for beer come from German, so we can use this knowledge as a starting point. Though it’s spelled differently, both languages use the same word – beer or Bier (Why did I capitalize it? See below!) – to describe this much-loved beverage. So the good news is… even if you don’t know any German at all, you can always order one of these frosty drinks!

Here are a few things you can learn at Beer Language School:

Bier

The word Bier teaches us two things about the German language: First, all nouns are capitalized in German, not just proper nouns. (But the pronoun ‘I‘ (ich) isn’t capitalized. What does that tell you about German priorities?) Next, when it comes to pronunciation, if two vowels are ‘walking’ … the second vowel does the talking. For instance, in the word Bier, the ‘e‘ sound is pronounced. Check out the next word to see what I mean…

Weiss

This is the German word for white.  It’s pronounced Vice.  The second vowel (i) does the talking.  Weiss also teaches us one more thing: W in German is pronounced like a V.  What about V?  It’s pronounced like an F.  What about F?  It’s pronounced like an F!!!   (I didn’t say this would be easy!)

Never heard of Weissbier?  You may have heard it called Hefeweizen (literally yeast wheat).

Lager

This word comes from the German word lagern, which means to store. Beer was invented before refrigerators, so beer was often brewed in the winter and then stored in a cool place until summer. Now you know your first German verb! Lagern, to store. Let’s try a couple of adjectives…

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Helles

If you curse while you’re drinking, be aware that if you say “Hell!’ you might end up with another beer in your hands. Hell is the German word for light, and it’s often used to refer to a light beer.

Dunkel

If you prefer darker beers, then you probably know the word Dunkel … the German word for dark. The letter ‘u’ is pronounced differently in German. If you want to sound like a true German, don’t pronounce it  ‘dunk-el,’ say ‘doonk-el.”

Stein

No discussion of German beer would be complete without mentioning a beer stein! Stein is the German word for stone. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that Steins are a type of stoneware. But wait – there’s more! There is also a type of beer called Steinbier. It’s made by dropping hot stones into the brew. If you come across one of these, give it a try – this type of beer is becoming quite rare!

You’ve completed you first lesson at Beer Language School! You now know the German words for beer, white, light, dark, stone, and to store. You also learned some pronunciation tips and even a little history.

Not planning a trip to Germany? Oh well – at least this weekend you can impress your friends. (But if you’re not in Germany and you decide to say “Hell!” to your server… better watch out!)

By the way …  there’s actually a German Beer Institute if you want to learn more!

5 Funny German Words

5 More Funny German Words

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